


What Next?

by Lady_Felucia



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), kylux - Fandom
Genre: Bisexuality, Captain Phasma, Fourth Wall, Friendship, Funny, Gay, General Hux - Freeform, Han Solo - Freeform, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo - Freeform, Kylo and Hux, Kylo and Rey, Kylux - Freeform, Leia Organa-Solo - Freeform, Multi, Out of Character, Parody, Rey - Freeform, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9562772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Felucia/pseuds/Lady_Felucia
Summary: Imagining a world in which the characters that I write about are their own separate entities apart from who they are in the stories, and they watch (and criticize) the things that I write them into.If I was an artist, I'd illustrate this story as the characters being little Chibi's sitting at the edge of my writing desk and arguing with each other while occasionally peaking at what I'm writing. IF I was an artist, that is. Sigh.





	

Rey: Ugh, she's about to pick us again.

Kylo: Seriously? She just had us in a story like a week ago!

Rey: Well, technically, it was a story with us and Finn, and this one is just about us, soooo . . .

Kylo: Oh, I guess it doesn't make a difference. Can you see what she's writing?

Rey: It's hard to tell; her handwriting is shit. Ummmmm, wait, I think I see the word Luke, and . . . cousin?

Kylo: Oh, fuck. So I guess we're family in this one, huh?

Rey: Looks like it.

Kylo: Does she get, like, how weird it is to go from having sex with each other in one story to being freakin' cousins in the next?

Rey: Obviously not. Hey maybe this time it'll be both.

Kylo: Both? You mean like, cousins who have sex?

Rey: Yep.

Kylo: That's disgusting, Rey! Why would you even say that?!

Rey: Well, think about it; it's like the one avenue she hasn't explored yet. Clearly she's suffering some kind of creative block because all her stories are sounding the same lately. She hasn't explored this topic yet.

Kylo: That's bullshit. She's never done one with you and Hux. Or Phasma and Hux. Or she could give Luke an imaginary wife on his island. Or like, anything with just characters from the original trilogy.

Rey: I don't think she wants to write about the original trilogy like that. Come on Ren, she has 9 fanfics all related to The Force Awakens.

Hux: Personally I wish she'd do more Kylux stories. Those are the best.

Rey: You just say that because you're in them.

Hux: Maybe. Or it's that, if you really read into them, she puts a lot more effort and realism into OUR stories than she does to your guy's.

Kylo: Flattered that you think so, Gingerbread Man. But she does this shit to us, too, you know. Like we'll hate each other in one story and be banging against a desk in the next.

Rey: Banging against a desk? Seriously?

Hux: Yeah there's one short story where I fuck him while he's dressed as Matt the Radar Tech.

Kylo: Now that was an award winning scene. God now I'm horny. 

Rey: . . . . 

Hux: You're not the only one.

Hux: . . . .

Kylo: . . . . I mean, what?

Phasma: You guys are being creepier than usual today.

Rey: THEY are, not me.

Phasma: Last time I checked THEY weren't the ones suggesting incestual relationships.

Rey: I wasn't suggesting it, I was just making a point.

Hux: Yeah and you and Ren are about to drive that point home, as cousins. Gag.

Phasma: Ugh.

Hux: I like what Ren said earlier, about me and you going together. How about it, Rey?"

Rey: Did . . . did you just wink at me?

Hux: What? No! I'm just saying . . .

Rey: You did it again! Just now!

Kylo: This is getting awkward; my two lovers getting involved with each other. Sounds kinda weird.

Phasma: At least you GET two interchangeable lovers! She never sets me up with anyone! I'm always like, a supporting character, never the main.

Rey: Well, maybe she'll do one of me and you, Phas. Straight lesbianism is something she's never done. 

Kylo: Weird considering she IS a lesbian.

Hux: No she's not. She's bi.

Kylo: Bi, lesbian, what's the difference?

Rey: The difference is in one you like just women, the other men and women. Duh.

Phasma: You really can't talk, Ren, because you're bisexual.

Kylo: No I'm not!

Rey: Dude.

Rey: Yes, clearly, you are.

Rey: At least you are in these stories.

Kylo: Okay but in the stories I'm either with you, or with Hux. Never both at the same time.

Hux: Wait, does that mean she thinks I'm just gay? Because the only stories she ever puts me in, I'm screwing Kylo but no one else.

Rey: That's not true; one of her very first stories she had you with Kyla, her female Kylo Ren. And in the last one you were hitting on me for like half the story.

Hux: Oh yeah, okay. Point withdrawn.

Phasma: My point still stands. She never puts me with anyone! I mean, what's wrong with me? Am I ugly? Am I boring?

Kylo: I'd do you.

Rey: That's very helpful, Ren. Really.

Kylo: No I'm serious; Phasma is hot. Plus she's like, taller than me. So our bodies would fit together better. None of that awkward bending I have to do with you or Hux.

Hux: Okay with Rey I get that. But dude I'm like, only 2 inches shorter than you! Why does everyone act like you're so much bigger than I am?

Kylo: Don't worry Hux, you're big where it counts. Wink.

Hux: Oh my God.

Rey: Wow. That's, uh . . . just wow.

Rey: No wonder she prefers writing Kylux to Reylo.

Kylo: Hey I can't help it. I'm a Scorpio, sex is our thing. Man, woman, whatever. A hole is a hole, is a freakin' hole.

Rey: Such a succinct way of summing up our various relationships, dear Kylo. 

Hux: VERY succinct.

Phasma: No kidding. But Rey, what you were saying before; I really like the idea of me and you.

Kylo: So you're just gonna turn me down flat, huh?

Phasma: No, darling, I just don't want to take you away from Prince Charming over there. Tell me something, Ren, does his carpet match the drapes?

Hux: If she ever put us together, my dear, you'd find out first hand.

Rey: I'm not gonna lie, I was wondering that, too.

Kylo: Its a secret I'll carry with me to the grave. You'll never know about old fire-crotch over there. Never.

Hux: Thanks, douche.

Rey: Confirmed.

Phasma: You know what would be interesting? Group sex. Total orgy.

Hux: Damn Phasma.

Hux: You're kind of a freak.

Hux: You don't want to do a one on one first, huh? Just straight to group sex?

Rey: That WOULD be fun.

Rey: I doubt she'd ever write that though.

Kylo: Why not?

Rey: I think, for all she's written all of us together, I think she's really uncomfortable with sex in general.

Hux: Why do you think that?

Rey: I dunno, I just do. Most of her love making scenes are written rather stiffly, with a lot of flowery "imagining" words but not a lot about like actual body parts.

Rey: I think the real issue is that she's very lonely, and searching for love but not finding any. With a guy or a girl. And like, all her sex stuff that she has us doing is stuff she wants to do but can't. What do they call that? Living vicariously through us. 

Phasma: You could be right.

Hux: Maybe but it's not like she's a stranger to writing some pretty dark stuff, besides the sex stuff.

Rey: What do you mean?

Hux: Have you read her latest story? The Michael Myers one?

Kylo: You mean the guy from Halloween? She seriously wrote a story about that?

Hux: She still is, I think. Like it's not over yet.

Rey: I noticed that a while ago, but I didn't realize she took it further than one chapter.

Hux: She definitely did. It's very graphic in parts. Like, blood and killing people graphic.

Kylo: Now THAT sounds cool. I'm gonna go read it when she goes to bed. Why can't she write more of that into OUR stories?

Rey: Next time she's out I'm going to hop into her notebook and write some of these ideas down for her. I think I can mimic her handwriting pretty well.

Phasma: But won't she know the difference between something she thought of vs someone else's ideas?

Rey: Honestly, I don't think so. Has no one else noticed the platter of pills she takes every day? She's already out of her mind! Seeing stuff that she can't remember writing won't be anything new to her; trust me.

Kylo: Wait did you guys see that?!

Phasma: See what?

Hux: What?

Kylo: There! Watch; she keeps turning to that one page and reading stuff. Look what it says!

Phasma: I can't see it from here.

Rey: Me either.

Hux: I can, kind of. God her handwriting is shit. Uh, blah blah "kisses all over his face" blah blah "using her strong legs to pin him down, Phasma . . ."

Rey: Phasma?! Holy shit girl she's starting a story about YOU!

Phasma: Oh my God! Really? FINALLY?!

Kylo: With who?

Hux: Uuuuh, hard to see, hold on . . . "Blah blah . . Ben" . . .?

Kylo: Ben? Like, Ben Solo? Like, ME?

Hux: I can't see the word Solo from here, just Ben.

Kylo: Well she must be talking about me, she wouldn't just use a random Ben without it being Ben Solo.

Phasma: Huh; me and Kylo. That's interesting.

Rey: That's probably the story she has coming up after the me and Kylo-cousins story. There's more stuff written on our page.

Kylo: Come here, Phas.

Phasma: What are you doing, Ren? Let go of me!

Kylo: Can't. I have to get some kind of feel for you before we go into a story together. It's the rule.

Rey: You never did that with me.

Hux: Me, either, you liar.

Kylo: Ssshhh. No talking, you're ruining the moment.

Phasma: Ren, you're squeezing me too tight! I can't breathe!

Kylo: Ok, fine. You're very soft. Much softer than I expected. And you smell good! Like cinnamon buns!

Phasma: Don't make this weird before it even starts, Ren.

Leia: Yes, son, please don't.

Kylo: Mom?! What are you doing here?!

Leia: Your dad and I are in the next story, honey! Isn't that wonderful! Our whole family, together again.

Kylo: Whole family? You mean--

Han: Surprise, Benny boy!

Kylo: Dammit! Come on this isn't fair! How many times do I have to kill you?! Wasn't once enough?

Luke: That's like asking how many times you can disappoint me by turning your back on my teachings. The answer is Infinity.

Kylo: Uncle Luke's here too? Great. Can someone point me to the nearest noose hanging in a tree?

Luke: Glad to see your over-dramaticism stays true no matter the story. Hey, Rey, come here, 'daughter'! Give your old man a hug!

Rey: Glad you're gonna be my dad again, Luke. She has me as an orphan in most of her stories; gets pretty lonely.

Han: You think that's lonely? Try being dead or a ghost 99% of the time.

Leia: Oh it's not 99%. I can see where Ben gets that over dramatic crap from. It's more like 75%.

Han: So much better. Well, hello, who's this? I don't think I've met you before, pretty lady. I'm Captain Han Solo, Smuggler extraordinaire. And you are?

Phasma: Captain Phasma.

Han: Captain? So we already have something in common. I wonder if there's anything else?

Leia: HAN! Are you serious right now?

Han: Now, honey, I'm just being friendly, and I'm showing Ben how to charm the ladies. You'd think with ME as his father he'd have picked up some of my style, instead of that awkward 'cinnamon buns' bullshit we walked in on.

Hux: He's got a point, Ren.

Han: Good to see you again, Hux. And without being bent underneath my son somewhere.

Leia: HAN! 

Luke: Wow.

Han: What? I'm just kidding!

Hux: Geez, you're kind of a dick, Solo. I can see why Ren always wants to kill you so badly.

Leia: You're not one to talk about who gets shipped with whom, Han. What about that time you and Lando . . .

Han: Leia!

Kylo: Oh my God, ugh ugh ugh I didn't hear that I didn't hear that I didn't hear that !

Luke: Ben if you think THAT's bad, you should read some of the stuff about him and Chewie.

Rey: Holy shit! WHY?! Why would you say that? I can't unsee that, 'dad'!

Hux: Figures you'd go for the big hairy types, Solo.

Phasma: Well, this conversation got awkward fast.

Hux: Things always get awkward when you're talking about 'shipping' and 'skywalkers'.

Leia: Don't put me in this! My relationships have always just been with Han!

Rey: With THIS writer, yes.

Hux: The other works out there are not that kind, Madame Solo. Let's just say in the others, you don't just stop at a kiss with your brother.

Phasma: Where'd Ren go?

Han: Looks like him over there, puking in the bushes.

Rey: What a wimp.

Phasma: Seriously.

Kylo: I don't see the rest of you having your family talked about like mine! Seriously is it any wonder I turned to the dark side? I've got my mom and my uncle Luke possibly banging, my father doing my uncle Lando or my Wookiee uncle Chewbacca, and I'M constantly being bent over desks by THIS space Nazi or I'm plowing a girl who can go back and forth between being either my cousin, or my own sister! If I hear one more gross pairing today, that's it, you're all getting a lightsaber enema.

Darth Vader: Um, about that, 'grandson' . . .


End file.
